Paradox...

Cigarette

2010-04-25T09:26:00.001-07:00

Love is a cigarette we all choose to smoke....

Heres mine.

Naked.

2010-04-24T21:32:00.001-07:00

you are spacious and yellow as summer in a golden church.

2010-04-23T09:03:00.001-07:00

http://larayia.tumblr.com/

Apples and Oranges..

2010-04-16T17:40:00.000-07:00

what they see
what they know
what they smell
what they want
what they say
what they feel...

Has nothing to do with our us....

#ready......

2010-04-05T17:40:00.000-07:00

I opened my eyes today, it was as Beautiful as love...

She was the sun...

2010-03-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

..how we met...

(Jokes, bathroom exits, name calling, shit talking... )..

love was young, tainted, unaware,...

We became weak, within a week... (In love, confessions) <--corny real shit,

I fled,
you let go,
you ran back
I held on,..

Both had our share of girls..
Pride... you know.. Libra type fix..

We swam through floods
Held our breath,

ventured shallow, became deep...

you went right,
I skipped left...

gambled high, lost a few bets..

submerged in fire, got my feet wet...

Im sure we have a million stories to share..
we left, and went no where...

see you when we, are ready...

-Moon

(Im sure, only the "one" will know its about her.....) ;)

Time for reflecting.

2010-03-12T14:44:00.000-08:00

I learned to swear, the moment I sailed into LA traffic.

Impact.

2010-02-02T16:08:00.000-08:00

Between the lines, love resides.

Witty Whit.

Riley has become photogenic over the years... Until next time.

Polaroid....

2010-01-29T19:11:00.000-08:00

.............Blue electric hand..

2010-01-12T16:32:00.000-08:00

The paradox of emptiness and harvest

DIRTY GIRL,

2010-01-07T20:03:00.000-08:00

Tryin to come clean.

Pass me the toothpaste, along with truth...
Only for you....

Soul blocker.

2010-01-07T13:10:00.000-08:00

By the bleak, green pastures

2010-01-05T22:59:00.000-08:00

Where the lambs lay...

As with Dust and Dawn..

2010-01-05T22:45:00.000-08:00

My heart moves from cold to fire.

Little white bird

2009-11-16T23:24:00.000-08:00

Tell me more, of the woman I knew once as lost girl.

has she lost the taste of flavor that burns deep in me.

I watch her paddle from afar... The calm surface of a duck, but deep down. underneath the lake, below her walls. shes drowning..

will forever last, or has she changed our plan?

-desopxe sgnileef ym

Yellow Electric Sun

2009-11-04T00:21:00.001-08:00

I fell irrevocably in love,
with the eyes of 1000 years,
to be precise
I fell in love with the reflection I feared most to look upon, and danced in your charms.

At the time was it, my pride? or our tales, turn truths.

Today, when I vocalized your name, will you freeze once again. or have you grown cold to our connection as I am of being without you?

The weight of your eyes, press deep in my chest,
unsex my thoughts, your touch against my heart is unbearable

I swim through blue storms,

If ever, you forget our love, It could not seise my realities

you are love made visible...

-LaRayia
Can't help how I feel, no matter how hard I try.

A zebra's butterfly.

2009-10-07T20:55:00.000-07:00

Triumphant tears glaze cotton wings

Consumed

I am lost in work, friends and love.

Fewer words will slip, and photos from now on will tell my story.

On make up Magazine

2009-07-28T21:51:00.000-07:00

Just shot for the September Issue of On make up magazine

Photographer: Brandon Showers

SIRENS

2009-07-28T21:40:00.000-07:00

Just shot for SIRENS Motor cycle club.

First fully nude shoot on location. I have never seen so many drivers not paying attention to the road.

Photographer: Karla Ticas
MUA: Keys for Key Make up.

Iowa.

2009-07-10T10:27:00.001-07:00

The Best day this month was by far yesterday.

I had an audition for a comedy horror feature film.

I met with the director Tim Sullivan.

We went over the script, he made me do a cold read for my character.

I was invited back at 7:00 pm..
Seven rolls around, I walk into the production office, and I see the entire cast sitting at a round conference table. My heart hit the floor, everyone looks at me. The Director announces, " This is LaRayia. The last character I've casted." he decided to break the news to me infront of the entire cast..

In my mind, Im like " Holly smokes, , I just got the part, I wanted to kick and scream, but instead I gulp an entire liter of cool! and sit down like I had known all along. :)

We did an entire run though of the film. As time unfolds. I will update with more details.

Im shooting in two weeks in Iowa.
Wish me, good work ethics and blessings.

The difference a day makes. 24 short little hours.

Again.

2009-07-06T19:45:00.001-07:00

Lets fall in love again, like the poets once did.

-LaRayia

To say the least.

2009-06-21T23:10:00.000-07:00

What a mighty rose, she paints among my face.
I am left mused.
The color of old, the ink of something new.
The gentle I recall,
my blood boils of a fire she has made
A honey thick cool,
I sketch a poets, cliche
To float on clouds, and fly through seas
Red hair curls around such beliefs
In love, its fate thats trickery

5 Y.O LOVE CHILD.

2009-06-20T13:26:00.000-07:00

fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts.

The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works is the family. ~Lee Iacocca

You are never too old or young to learn and teach -LaRayia

Lonely is the soul without a mate.

2009-06-17T03:05:00.000-07:00

True love never dies, even if you have found a new love,
the sweet memory of the past will continue to hunt you for the rest of your life.

Random quote I found. This photo I shot awhile back, came to mind.

ZED.

2009-06-14T19:02:00.000-07:00

New model ZED card.

Shot with Karla Ticas.

Beer and Joose Muse.

2009-06-12T10:23:00.000-07:00

Flashing kiwi

Free.

2009-06-09T13:04:00.001-07:00

Holding on does not make one strong.
The true strength is in letting go.

Sinful

2009-06-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

I am blessed. I feel beautiful

Concert

2009-06-05T06:59:00.001-07:00

Last night we attended the Musiq soulchild/Anthony Hamilton concert.

Wonderful experience.

Margaritas, love songs.

Anthony was amazing live.

After the show. We went to Roscoes.

My first time ordering their chicken and waffles.
I officially see why people like them. There's cinnamon in the batter.
Slept, like a rock..

Im off to Vegas this morning. (back to my traveling habit)
Will update with photos soon.

Oxox

Yesterday.

2009-06-03T20:30:00.000-07:00

"Its not love to be static as the desert. nor is it to roam the world like the wind. and its not love to see everything in the distance. "

~~Yesterday~~ : I was dreaming

Today: I woke up.

C: In the midst of love, there will be no confusion.

Took 4 years. Today I get it.

Castles made of sand.

2009-06-02T02:50:00.000-07:00

Late night/early morning.

Re-in-love

2009-06-01T11:37:00.000-07:00

Emotional drought

when feelings pour like rain,

I shall be in love again.

Loving Me 4 Me - Christina Aguilera

Buddha baby.

2009-05-22T10:20:00.000-07:00

Orange juice Tattoos , tough cookies.

Trust Respect

Love....

God, how is it you place the most wonderful women in my path,
I am thankful for her. My beautiful friend.

p.s Her team, Undefeated. yup, SHE, plays football

Chocolate summer

2009-05-13T12:18:00.000-07:00

Nightingale

2009-05-10T15:07:00.001-07:00

Ascend through loves billowed strain.
delicate as your calamus
Moonbeams bolster her mottled glide
stoutheartedness of diaphanous
dwindle in your estuary that reigns of beauty
I salute such a crimson death

Bonnie and Clyde.

2009-05-10T14:46:00.000-07:00

I find him Wonderful.

My life long Muse. I always enjoy shooting him.

New York is always enchanting when our souls collide.

See you soon.

It is said.

2009-05-07T18:38:00.001-07:00

The soul weighs 3oz.

Let me remember you as you were before you existed.

Oil and Water.

2009-05-02T15:34:00.000-07:00

As Matthew will have it. (I avoided posting)

This past week, we were onset filming a movie..

We met some of the worlds crazies beings. One in which gave us the laughs, to last the entire week (we worked 94 hours, by the way, *wtf*).
I do not remember her name. But We nicknamed her, oil, and I water. Because for some reason we did not mesh well.

She was, a woman from Texas. 5 minutes into our greeting (oil) tells Matthew and I, she was raped and didn't tell anyone for six months, and believes in abortion.
Keep in mind, she hadn't even given her name, and kept such a secret for six months, and yet told us in five minutes?! hmm.. Strike one.

The conversation shifted, into a debate on Capital punishment. Oil felt, when a young adult gets life in prison, we should give them all the death penalty because its more cost sufficient. Instead of paying for their well being. 1/2 A strike

(Her view points had me in shock, I politely interrupted and asked, what part of town she currently lives, *so I can avoid this area* Oil, quote on qoute, answers, "San Berna-ghetto")

LaRayia: Alrighty, moving right along..

Our next conversation, goes right into politics.
Oil, but of course is a republican, (oh btw, I have yet to meet an intelligent one, so if you fit the bill, send me a message)...
She rants and raves, "Democrats/ the middle class are horrible, non of them want to work, they want everything handed to them, this isn't fair"

*My silent thoughts* Isn't at least 85% of the population the middle class? and aren't the highest paying jobs usually laborless?

So, I randomly ask Oil, wait but being that you live in the ghetto, you fall into the category of being eligible for government assistance?

Oil replied by saying, "well I don't live in the ghetto, its across the street from my house. but my nephew is half black. So I'm not racist"

(I was mistaken, Oil is a bit more cultured than I thought *facetious thought*)

How we moved on, to religion I will never understand.
(Btw, Matthew is jewish, and I am a spiritual buddhist)

Oil then says, oh by the way. Im hard core Christian.
Matthew, explodes in laughter shocked by the contradiction in her beliefs.

Steam begins to escape from Oil's blushing ears. "Whats funny ABOUT THAT?!"

Matthew, "Nothing, nothing at ALL. I believe in god. Good for you too"

Confused, I asked "Do you have any friends?"

Oil says "Yeah, and they are black"

During this part of our conversation, David, comes to join our table..
Oil says to him. Aww hi.. We were talking about some of our friends. "Do you want to see a picture of my favorite black guy?"

At this point, Now I am unable to hold in my happy angry laugh. I have had enough. I felt an urge to bring her life to an emotional end. I wanted to commit viper tongue suicide. So I removed myself from her presence.

*An hour later,* she found herself back, in my bubble..

Lolz. Life seems to be testing, my kindness. lolz

Underground..

2009-05-02T13:59:00.000-07:00

We went to see them live. Edit was amazing.
By far, the best DJ in the Glitch mob.
Next month they are opening up for prodigy.
Hopefully I'll see you there.

Out from hiding.

2009-05-02T13:11:00.001-07:00

Stall

2009-05-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

More or less.

2009-04-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

Sensitiveness is closely allied to egotism; and excessive sensibility is only another name for morbid self-consciousness. The cure for tender sensibilities is to make more of our objects and less of our selves

Emotional obesity.

2009-04-19T16:07:00.000-07:00

Subconsciously i've grown heavy.

I am unable to distinguish if the pain im feeling is heart ache, or just heart burn.

The optomist in me, tells me, I am half full. Reality tells me, Im half empty.

-LaRayia

Im

2009-03-15T20:54:00.000-07:00

currently a recovering,

undercover,

over lover

who is attempting to recover from a love I simply cant seem to get over

kismet.

2009-02-23T16:41:00.001-08:00

My weekend..

Sports award Gala

Music meeting

The movies (Slumdog millionaire)

3 or 4 different restaurants, as always..

Missed Ash, as she enjoyed her San Fran visit (Birthday wishes to Brenda)

Enjoyed Scotti, Mrs.Janice, Will and Coughvans company..

..Acknowledging, we all decide which path that best suits self.

Hours later, I see a movie, thats entirety is about the message I had discussed prior to such declaration..

Sound of art, here we go..

{Feeling tan}

Twitches and tweeks.

2009-02-11T22:57:00.000-08:00

I am only able to devour ice cream when its accompanied by a fork (spoons change its taste)

I imbibe coffee as though its going out of style.. (Since age 6)

Chew Tums like candy

Would rather RAW cake batter OVER it baked

Snack, the entire time im cooking

Enjoy Sultry showers to the point of discomfort.

Skip gym days to avoid washing my hair

Answer my own questions, (in a different tone)

Frolic at my own jokes

{masticate the facts, my list will become vertically obesse.}

Exacts.

2009-01-28T17:59:00.000-08:00

How is it, we are unable to accept flaws that are indentical to our very own. Do you run from a mirrored image of attraction?

_____ find their way to one another, even when their backs are against the wall, the world shifts in order for them to face each other..

{Feeling, light black}

Question.

2009-01-28T17:45:00.000-08:00

Of all the time the world has given, it is tonight I drive, with you on my mind crying and wondering...why I left you behind...

{When I can't get rid of the skeletons in my closet, I teach them how to dance}

obscurity...

2009-01-23T00:48:00.000-08:00

Entities axiom paralyzed,

Antecedent to my doleful nebula,

A colorful spectrum sweltering pain,

My heart racing past its alcove,

Her sun awakening the night with Stellar eyes...

Pebbles..

2009-01-08T13:02:00.000-08:00

The longest process in life.. Completing an album..
I've been working on this project for a little over 8 months..
Living in the studio, is something else..

To say the least. Finally I am able to breathe..

Finding a sound and direction has been a mission in itself..
Being innovative.. Fun.. Creative.. Brave.

. Its well on its way..

A million people are still waiting to hear..

Darling,You have yet to hear such a sound. Stay tuned to what I have in store for 09'

-Blessings..

Warmed whispers. Satin Chocolate..

2009-01-05T22:09:00.000-08:00

Slept in a quiet park, amoung strangers.. Had a chance to catch up on reading

Breakfast Burritos at noon, in the grass. The breeze swirled the leaves amoung us.
Thrifty ice cream from rite aid, was a heavenly treat.. I indulged in cookies and cream, cookie dough. I stole pecans, leaving her with just a buttery cream.. Im beginning to think. she never minds..

Growing accustom to her city.

(Feeling Ivory) A heavy Feather, thats sinks into all I touch..

(New book, Titled homosexuality and civilization by Louis Crompton)...

2nd Mother.

2009-01-02T13:51:00.000-08:00

There are but a few women who I would model my life after.. She happens to be at the forefront.

With love.

Spring cleaning

2009-01-02T08:44:00.000-08:00

For the lovers in the world who throw what they have away..

Cliche of the day--->One mans trash, may be another mans treasure..

Type 2...

2008-12-29T16:59:00.000-08:00

The bitterness from my lips escape...

{Eric Benet, The hunger}

At last..

2008-12-19T12:07:00.001-08:00

Light became warm against my shoulders..
In need of change. I inched forward. Looking back on
miles of mislead actions. Confusion. I placed a stop,
freed myself of silent calls, pointless, hopeless gazing.
Oxygen fills my lungs. I have seized short breaths..
Finally, I am honestly, truthfully.. Lovely again.

1st cup.

2008-12-19T10:37:00.000-08:00

Lets sip, as we smile at one another..

Random quote -->Behind every successful woman...is a substantial amount of coffee.

Blk panties.

2008-12-17T14:50:00.000-08:00

Food, drinks, and lovely views...

Inamorata

2008-12-15T23:39:00.000-08:00

The tongue of a gypsy wakened me from my reverie..
She spoke of refulgence,
kindled diamonds from laps of sand
Her fire, my winds dance along leaves of willows shaken hand...
my knees weak, pelvic quavering from mortal sin..
Her gentle fingers traced my lips, qwivering of desperation
Beauty speckled across the rose of inviolable creation
in awe, my reverence she held captive,
Her burning piquancy, I will not forgive
Her lips made of ruby, A coyest kiss of impetus
she became the ferment of my structure
the articulacy uttering of my agnomen
convulsant from her dulcet delivery
left me tender.melting cherubically in the wings of she.

cognizant

2008-12-05T17:00:00.001-08:00

....... Dig deep..

Whirlpool

2008-12-05T13:33:00.000-08:00

Somewhere along the way.. I was turned around.. The distraction of private, cell rings..

{Down here in hell (with you), Van Hunt}

Attack of the clones.

2008-12-05T12:05:00.000-08:00

Fork.

2008-12-03T13:48:00.000-08:00

The Exigency of split nepotism..

Lets place the dead in the sleep we shall coxed in, after.. once more.

Venice..

2008-12-02T23:00:00.000-08:00

Change of setting.

Travels..

2008-12-02T01:22:00.000-08:00

I gathered my words,
Placed them in a million hiding spots..

My urge was to listen..

{Come close, Common}

Utah night.

2008-11-26T23:01:00.000-08:00

Fixation.

2008-11-25T07:19:00.000-08:00

Bless my past, assure my future..

I won't think of either....

Fixated on today..

{Ingrid Michaelson, Be ok}

Differently

2008-11-24T15:20:00.000-08:00

Miles Davis {Round midnight}

Wrapped in..

2008-11-24T14:31:00.000-08:00

Self...

Sorry

2008-11-23T23:24:00.000-08:00

To have remet you, the day my love went away..

Tis the season to be... GAY

2008-11-23T21:08:00.000-08:00

Unattainable.. shall the gift of all. Be wrapped like this?

.Hate with love

2008-11-22T13:38:00.000-08:00

With Love, you are able to hate, how you dream to feel hatred...

Lover, Love me, how you long to be loved.

(Feeling purple)

Literature...

2008-11-22T04:10:00.000-08:00

I usually don't have sleeves,

so I wear my emotions on my face... Read me

(Feeling Orange)

The gifted..

2008-11-21T21:08:00.000-08:00

~~Soulmates~~

“The pain of being without is sometimes preferable to the treatment”

I was so consumed in giving what I longed to posses..

When in all reality, I was the true gift..

{I used to love him, by Lauren Hill}

Sweet kiwi

2008-11-20T22:44:00.000-08:00

Sadistic pleasures slither among her overbearing acid.. planted seeds run deep.. Whites inner glow overpowers her blackened soul.. Her warm brown coating circumvent the embracive want for Her. Curves of affliction, Tourment the needs of waking up beside such desire..

Sea of Zebra

2008-11-17T20:40:00.000-08:00

Her black and white nostalgia.
Fancying her eroctic arc..
The plank I obsequiously submerge off.. With the ache of a thousand splenters...
Her pierce

DEEP

?Is LIFE too short to leave, or come back...

Prancing...

2008-11-16T00:24:00.000-08:00

Prance a dance on gliding fingertips.

The Zone...

2008-11-16T00:02:00.000-08:00

We finally decided to take a leap,
and hit a basketball game...

Denny's

2008-11-15T11:59:00.000-08:00

The breakfast craving in the middle of a recording session..

Painter of destiny

2008-11-13T00:48:00.000-08:00

Stain a rainy path you walk along, for those who follow to enjoy the rainbow..

I'd love to think.

2008-11-12T18:01:00.000-08:00

You'd last a minute in mine.

Palpable Quest

2008-11-12T17:40:00.000-08:00

Somehow we hold each others hand... A million worlds away

Raw..

2008-11-12T17:10:00.000-08:00

I fancy my sex just as.

Corkscrew..

2008-11-12T16:50:00.000-08:00

After endless wheedle conversations,
Cajoles began tingling the unmentionable areas of my life..
twine the bottled creativity, with the pressures of a corkscrew...

So photography it is..

Ugly.

2008-11-04T02:39:00.001-08:00

Even

Beautiful women have

Ugly

moments..

This too shall pass..

2008-11-03T09:21:00.000-08:00

Laughter

.. Love, in the form of betrayal.. pain hurt.

Joy, PEACE...

The emotions of today...

*Maintaining*

A state of knowledged bliss...

Paradox...

2008-10-31T01:33:00.000-07:00

My lips,

Reprimanding my subject with disparagement. I fixate upon an rapacious appetite. My boisterous ridicule plunging deep into the threshold of my lover.

Now, unsatisfied, undernourished, dumbfounded to what I had grown accustomed to. How dare I mentally masturbate with no satisfaction, discombobulated by habitual behavior. How was I capable of ushering dim-witted qualities? I subconsiously appointed myself as conductor of hardship. Were my tears an orthodox apporach when in the midst of grieve?

I stood, puzzled.

Resilience always appeared welcoming. I found comfort in the intoxicationg aura that would parade across my glands. My feet anchored, mind traveling, as passion deteriorates. Loves elation always seemed to contravene the betrayels I felt